Originally posted on LinkedIn by Theresa Balsiger, VP of Candidate Relations at Carex
Searching for a job is just like dating. *insert eye roll here*
Reason 1: You have to open up.
Meeting someone at the right time and right place, under the right circumstances, and when you’re in the right state of mind. Whew! A few things need to line up.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t help the universe.
I recognize there’s risk by letting Aunt Sally know that you’re on the dating market. But—if you’re looking for a job and haven’t engaged your network, talked to a few trustworthy recruiters, and dusted off your LinkedIn profile, you’re not doing the universe a solid.
Come talk to us, or another trusted recruiter. (You’re on your own with Aunt Sally, though.)
Reason 2: We all want a meet cute.
If the term “meet cute” is not a familiar one, go watch The Holiday. ‘Tis the season. Just do it.
People light up when you ask them how they met their significant other or how they got their new job. It’s fun to talk about the *moment* when everything changed.
Here’s the thing about a meet cute. We bring alllll sorts of bias and preconceived ideas. Love at first sight may exist, but hire at first sight shouldn’t. Take a moment, recognize your bias, and as Ted Lasso so clearly put it, “be curious, not judgmental.”
Reason 3: There are non-negotiables.
One of my first interview questions is always, “what are your three non-negotiables?” This is far more straightforward than a first date, I suppose. But wouldn’t that be a whole lot easier, more honest, and far more efficient?
And if your answer is that you don’t have any, I encourage you to do a little self-reflection before proceeding. Whether it’s compensation, remote/hybrid, or number of PTO days, we all have deal breakers. Understanding what yours are will be an important step in narrowing down the field!
Reason 4: “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Okay. This is a tough one, but often in the hiring process everything can look perfect on paper…and it doesn’t result in an offer. When I led executive searches, I’d get to know candidates really well over the course of several months. In the end, the 2nd and 3rd place candidates always had the same question—what could I have done differently? My answer? Not a thing.
It’s hard to hear, because it can feel like you aren’t in control of your own destiny. But in observing the decision makers, it was the truth. When it’s right, it’s right. Just keep going. Finding the perfect match can be a marathon, but in the end, you want to end up with the person/company that feels equally excited about you as you are about them.
Reason 5: Timing matters.
“Had I met that person in my 30s and not my 20s, well—it would have been different.” I’ve heard this a few times from friends over the years. Similarly, a job that didn’t work 10 years ago, sometimes is PERFECT for today. Careers are not linear, especially the most fulfilling ones. People change, motivators change, life circumstances change, and we have to accept that our careers change with us.
If it’s not the right time, that’s okay. Keep in touch with that recruiter or hiring manager. I’ve worked with candidates for 4 years before the timing aligns. Keep in touch with that person that lights a spark. Someday the timing may align, and if it doesn’t you’ve lost nothing.